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Passenger Boarding Information
2010-03-18

Passenger Boarding Information Welcome aboard this non-commercial flight in the vicinity of San Francisco. We will be departing shortly and with any luck at all will continue to be airborne until our return to our departure point. You will be instructed to fasten your seat belt and you are expected to obey the aircraft captain in every other instance. Please make sure your seatbelt is on and that your seat is securely fastened to the fuselage. At this time, any personal items should be stowed securely in the trunk of your car, since there is no overhead compartment or space beneath your seat, to speak of. Please turn off all portable electronic devices, and keep them off until we have landed safely, or for the duration of the flight, whichever comes first. Smoking is not permitted inside the cabin; smoking outside the cabin should be reported to the captain immediately. There is no beverage service during the flight. If you need to make a bathroom stop, do so prior to our departure. In-flight entertainment will consist of watching the pilot's desperate struggle to control the plane. We'll be flying at an altitude deemed, in the opinion of the pilot, to be safe and most likely to avoid other aircraft. This is in theory; but, should the plane's altitude drop precipitously, please check to ensure that the pilot is awake and in an upright position. As we prepare for takeoff, please take this opportunity to locate the exit nearest you and, if you have any sense at all, avail yourself of it before it's too late. In a moment, the pilot will begin handing out the release forms in preparation for takeoff. Be assured that in all his time aloft, the pilot has never lost a passenger; however, your results may vary. Now sit back, relax, and enjoy your flight.
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